"The call came from a DHS supervisor at midnight: “We have a 3-year
old girl at the hospital. Her mom was shot and is not expected to live
through the night. Her dad has been arrested. Domestic violence. All
clothing was taken by police as evidence so if you could bring a blanket
that would be great. Can you come pick her up?” 'Yes.'
"The
call came from a CPS worker while I was making dinner: “I just came on
the scene to find a 4-year old boy sitting in the back of a police car.
His clothing is soaked with urine from his mentally unstable mother; he
may have lice, and he is filthy. Can we bring him to your house?” 'Yes.'
"The call came from another county as we were getting ready for bed.
“We have a 2-year old who is sound asleep at the DHS office now. She was
brought to the ER with an injury. Her mom was so high on drugs she
could hardly function. This little girl is adorable. We just need
someone who can take her for the night. Could you?” 'Yes.'
"The
call came from the placement desk while I was in the middle of a run.
“We have a tiny 10-day old baby boy. Things aren’t working out with his
current foster home, and we need to move him. Do you have an infant car
seat?” 'Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.'
"My husband and I are
biological parents to two young kids, as well as foster parents to a
revolving crew of kids under the age of five. A friend, who also
fosters, once told me that calls from DHS are like a
Create-Your-Own-Adventure Game. Each “yes” takes your family on a wild
new adventure you never expected. I always wonder what adventure we are
missing out on with the calls we can’t take.
We say yes because
these broken babies need a safe place to land. They need a mommy to wrap
them in blankets and tuck them in at night. They need a daddy to hoist
them up on his shoulders and gallop them around the backyard. They need
clothing that fits and food that nourishes. They need to be tickled and
trained and taken to the zoo. They need boundaries. They need love.
I
have been surprised to find how much we need these little people, too.
They are sweet and feisty and stubborn and funny. They keep us on our
toes and teach us lessons we need to learn.
People tell me all
the time, 'I don’t know how you do it! I could never become a foster
parent. It would be too hard to say good-bye to the kids once I’ve
gotten attached.' And I get it, I do. I used to say the exact same
thing. But now, I wonder what in the world I was thinking. Was I
serious? It would be too hard for... me?
Make no mistake. It is
hard. There are plenty of days when I feel like I just don’t have it in
me to do this. My ideas and energy and patience fall flat. There are
endless meetings and appointments and phone calls. There are false
accusations and frustrating decisions. Foster parenting can be tough.
And yet these kids are forced to do hard things every single day,
through no fault or choice of their own. They are abused and neglected
and forced to fend for themselves. They are separated from siblings and
shuffled from place to place. Kids in the foster care system have
endured more hurt in their short lives than most of us will pause to
think about, let alone experience, in our own.
The next phone
call will come. And my husband and I will say yes. Not because we are
some amazing poster family for foster care. We will say yes because
these kids are forced to do hard things. The least we can do is look
into their broken eyes and say, 'Yes. I will do hard things with you. I
will hold your hand and kiss your head and calm your tantrums. By God’s
grace, we will figure this out together.'
When it is time to say
good-bye, I will wash their clothes and pack their stuffed animals. I
will ache and cry and wish it could be different. But I will never
regret saying yes."
~~~~~
Emily is a foster mom in Portland, Oregon and a volunteer with Embrace Oregon.
Source: https://www.facebook.com/lovewhatreallymatters/posts/1041568579198873:0